


Ashes

by gothpandaotaku



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, F/M, M/M, Omega Sam, Omega Sam Winchester, Self-Hatred, Stanford Era, Weecest, Wincest - Freeform, angsty angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 18:39:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8811766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothpandaotaku/pseuds/gothpandaotaku
Summary: Sam hated it. Being an Omega.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brokenlittleboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenlittleboy/gifts).



> Bear with me, I'm posting all of these at once I had written for the 2016 Omega Jared/Sam Challenge from like months ago  
> This was for free day, a gift for @transgendersam on tumblr <3

Sam hated it. Being an Omega.

Hated dealing with the debilitating heats every month. Being treated like a piece of meat by every Alpha out there. Watching the only one that mattered go home with someone other than him, whispering sweet nothings into someone else’s ear, _love_ someone other than him.

Whenever Dean came home and he smelled _her **stink** _ on him, Sam’s stomach churned. The very first time Sam smelled someone else on Dean, the acrid scent burning his nostrils, he’d had to rush to the bathroom to be sick.

They didn’t _know_ Dean, not like he did. They hadn’t been there since the very beginning; they didn’t know how to calm Dean down from a nightmare, what his favorite songs were and why, they didn’t appreciate how _smart_ and _incredible_ Dean really was. How Dean could make an EMF meter from almost nothing, or think up a hundred different kinds of macaroni. They would never _understand_ Dean.

No one could _ever_ love Dean the way Sam did. No one.

It wasn’t fair. Why, _why_ should Omegas be stuck mating for life, while Alphas were free to mate with as many as they wanted? Why should he be forced to watch the _one good thing_ in his life, the _love_ of his life, be with others?

So Sam ran away. Soon as he hit eighteen he was on his way to California, attending Stanford. Dean’s only reaction had been to glare at him with cold eyes and walk away without a word, slamming the door behind him. Sam didn’t know why he’d hoped for anything different.

He held out as long as he could, he really did. But when his heat hit for the first time since arriving at Stanford, he suddenly couldn’t _bear_ to be alone in the dark, claustrophobic dorm room for one second longer. Breaking down in tears, with shaking hands he dialed his brother’s number. He only had to say, “D—Dean,” and Dean was on his way.

It became an arrangement of theirs that every month Dean would show up in California to help Sam through his heats. They didn’t say much, but just being with his mate was enough. For the first time in his life, Sam began to actually look forward to his heats, if they meant he could be with Dean.

Often, Sam would dream about what it would be like if Alphas only had one mate. Dean would come home to _him_ every night, only smelling like old spice and leather and motor oil from the garage he worked at part time. Like _Dean_. He’d see the same all-encompassing love reflected in Dean’s eyes that he knew shone in his own. Dean’s heart would beat only for _him_ , just as Sam’s heart beat for Dean and Dean only. Dean would _belong_ to him. Dean would _love_ him. Maybe Dean would even be at Stanford with him.

A small part of Sam, perhaps the vindictive part, wondered if what would happen if he mated with another Alpha. If Dean would even care. Sam snorted to himself; Dean would probably just go and mate with one of his other Omega bitches.

Sam’s heat hit again. Fire licked at his veins, burning everything in its path, his bones _ached_. He couldn’t think, breathe, or feel anything but _fire_. Until the _cool_ , sweet relief of his Alpha put out the flames. Dean helped him through his heat, making love to him, holding him and whispering sweet nothings in his ears. Telling Sam how _perfect_ and _beautiful_ he was.

But he still wasn’t good enough to _keep_ Dean.

At one in the morning Dean’s phone buzzed. Dean looked at it, climbed out of bed and got dressed, slipping silently out the door. Sam lay there for hours, feeling the warmth build up under his skin again, and curled in on himself.

Sometimes, Sam thought he’d be better off letting the fire in his veins consume him until he was nothing but ashes.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts <3


End file.
